I can barely remember my childhood and teenage years. I have repressed most memories from that time of my life, but I know that I felt abandoned by everyone. No one was there and nothing was talked about. That feeling of people leaving me all alone, I have carried with me for a long time.
Continue readingCategory: Father
Dark spots
I had a very small family that consisted only of my parents, two grandmothers and me. Of those four, I wished three of them dead. This is a dark chapter from my past that I don’t like to look at.
Continue readingThere is no perfect
I would label myself a relationship addict. I have these weird controversial ideas about life. I tried to dig deep in my feelings, emotions and reactions to find out what was the reason I became like this. Why are relationships so important to me and how am I functioning at all in relationships?
Continue readingI stand up for myself
I would like to tell my mother that she did nothing wrong. She feels that I am giving her the impression that she did something wrong because of how I live my life. I wish for her to be able to better accept me for who I am and what I believe. I wish for myself that I could speak out my mind without fearing an escalation of emotions in every instance.
Continue readingIs there unconditional love?
If I said this to my parents, I assume that our relationship would end. I am not ready to say it to them. I don’t really know how this would affect my mind. But I think it’s at the core of why I’m unhappy with my life even now.
Continue readingThe heartbroken child is still there
In my mind I created this romantic father that he should have been or rather who I’d still like to have. I still miss this person. I would like to tell him about my life, my struggles, my sadness. I would like to have him as partner in crime and a person of trust.
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