The whole situation with my ex-husband is long and complicated with multiple facets. But I have come to terms with it, because I disassembled all that happened into single components and slowly demolished that monstrous wall. There is one aspect though that I have never talked about and that sometimes still bothers me: the huge disappointment caused by my ex-mother-in-law.
Continue readingYear: 2021
A good human being
My mother never talked about herself or the things she experienced in her life. But I know she had a tough life that made her who she is: hard and bitter. This shaped not only her life but my life as well. Our relationship is a continuation of her own trauma, and I am only slowly carving my way out of it.
Continue readingUnwelcome dreams
Every month for a week, I dream that I am back together with my ex-husband and everything is fabulous. I wake up in the middle of the night and miss my old life while my husband is lying next to me. He has no idea about this. Not for anything in the world would I want to go back, but I can’t turn off these dreams. It’s a disaster.
Continue readingAbandoned
I can barely remember my childhood and teenage years. I have repressed most memories from that time of my life, but I know that I felt abandoned by everyone. No one was there and nothing was talked about. That feeling of people leaving me all alone, I have carried with me for a long time.
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