I’m a piece of my grandmother in terms of personality and how I look at life. There is a core piece of her soul that resides in me. She would have been happy to hear from me before she died. I fucked up, because I just looked at it logically. I was worried about what I had to say and how futile it would be. I am sure she would have understood this. I am sure she knew that I loved her. But I should have cared more about what she might have wanted to say to me rather than what I would have said to her.
Continue readingCategory: Grandparents
Dark spots
I had a very small family that consisted only of my parents, two grandmothers and me. Of those four, I wished three of them dead. This is a dark chapter from my past that I don’t like to look at.
Continue readingIt’s ok that I am the way I am
My maternal grandmother would have turned 90 this year. She died exactly on her 72nd birthday. She had a heart attack while she was on the toilet. I don’t want to tell her things as much as I want to ask the 1000 questions I have for her. It might be some kind of search. There are surely many people in the world who have similarities with me, but within the family there is a strong desire for identification because these are my personal roots.
Continue reading