Better half

I did what my mother used to do when she dropped me at the airport. I stood as close as I could to the hospital fence and waved until you had disappeared. You turned around several times to look at me, laughing. I was the last person you called before you turned off your phone. You said you were already wearing support stockings, I said, well then, nothing can go wrong.

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Silent protection

After leaving a place I completely cut all connections with my past. I stop talking to my friends. I don’t have any old relationships with anyone. People find this strange. How can you not keep ties with other people? Don’t you miss your friends? Yes partly. It’s not that they are not on my mind. Sometimes I wish I could talk with them or know what they are doing, but at the same time it’s not what I want.

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Identifier

I have been insecure about my sexuality most of my adult life. It has not and was not always on the forefront of my mind, but the insecurities were always there. I wondered what was wrong with me because I didn’t really like sex, and I kind of hoped that this would change once I’d get into a relationship, which it did, but I can still say that I don’t feel like I have what I think would be considered a normal level of sexual desire.

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Can I let a friendship go?

Even though this profound and close friendship no longer exists for over 3 years, I’m still torn between meeting him again to explain, tell him what I would have needed from him – and just leaving it as it is. I would like to tell him that it makes me sad and I am sorry how things developed between us. At the same time I know that it will never be the same again and I don’t know if we could develop a new friendship.

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